Kids Safety Online And Screen Time

I spend a lot of time advising businesses on cybersecurity. But the conversations I find most intriguing and revealing are the ones I have at home.

My children are at ages where online independence is increasing and the risks that come with it are real. Here is what I have found works for us.

Start with transparency, not surveillance. Children who understand why certain things matter are far more likely to come to you when something goes wrong. If the first time they hear about online risks is after something has happened, you have missed the window.

We have drawn up a family contract that lays everything out in black and white.  This might sound draconian, but it actually works, mostly because it holds us as parents to account. 

How can we expect the kids to behave on screens when we spend every waking hour attached to ours?

Use the tools available to you. Screen time controls on iOS and Android are genuinely useful but I use Qustodio as I needed something that worked across all types of tablets, Chromebooks and mobile phones.  I can set rules, schedules, block or time limit apps, be alerted to potentially concerning conversations, give extra time or pause the internet, and much more.

Keep having regular chats with the kids. Not the sit-down talk. The throwaway question at dinner. What are you watching? Who is in that group chat? These build the habit of openness.  Group chats have been identified as one of the main sources of online bullying, so if they are still in that group from primary school years after leaving, they should probably think about whether they really need to be in it anymore.

Understand the platforms kids are using before you restrict them. TikTok, Roblox, Snapchat. They are not all the same. And our generation are more Facebook and Instagrammers.  Know what each one is before you decide whether it is appropriate and what controls are needed.

Most parents know that it is a near inevitability their kids will want to be on some form of chat and/or social media, before or around the time they leave primary at 11 years old.  And I greatly admire any parent or guardian that is sticking to their guns and resisting the pressure that comes with it.  We gave our youngest a phone (no SIM) way too young and learnt the hard way (suffice to say the phone was removed within days).

Schools are now introducing Yondr pouches but surely the next step is a blanket ban on social media for under 16s, and a ban on phones in school for the same age group.

What have you found effective or ineffective with your own children?

NB.  If your kids Chromebook/laptop is managed by the school, there is little that can be done unless your school allows Qustodio, which ours doesn’t yet, but I'm working on it...